


Father’s Day

by chaoticPan



Category: God's Mad Lab (GML)
Genre: God's A+ Parenting, Jesus is trying his best
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:14:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24438040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaoticPan/pseuds/chaoticPan
Summary: Oh Boy, it's Father's Day. Time to try earning the non-existing appreciation from your father.
Relationships: God/Carlson (implied), Jesus & Anti, Jesus & Carlson
Comments: 11
Kudos: 32





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a terrible writer but there wasn't a single GML fic, so I blame all of you for this

Finally it was Father's day. Jesus had waited so long for this, because this year everything would be different. This year, Jesus would finally be able to give his father a good present.  
Not that he never gave him a present before, there were many Father’s days with many presents, but none of these happened to actually be good. At least according to God. If you’d ask Jesus, all his previous present were awesome. Every year, he came up with some new creative idea, one better than the other. But, you know God, he moves in mysterious ways, so none were ever good enough. And still, he kept trying,and yet, it turned out to be very hard to find something his father actually liked.  
One year, Jesus gave him a giant picture of himself, made entirely of macaronis. He had seen some human children do that for their parents, and they really seemed to appreciate it. Also, considered that the only thing God really loves is himself, he figured he might enjoy this gift.

He didn’t.

Instead, he took the picture, threw it in a pot of boiling water and ate it. Though maybe, he was just really hungry at that moment, in which case the present would have been actually helpful. Anyway, it could have been much worse. After all, poor Kaine later tried to give God a similar gift and, well, everybody knows how this ended.

But this year everything will be different, because this year, for the first time in forever, God started liking something else than just himself!  
Ever since Carlson entered heaven, both their lives have changed for the better. Jesus finally found someone, who would actually listen and give him helpful advice, instead of just laughing at him everytime he had a problem. And God finally found someone he cared about. Of course he doesn't care as much about Carlson as about himself, but at least he cares at all. That’s a huge step up.  
So, in order to make his father happy, all Jesus has to do is make God and Carlson spend some time together. It’s almost too easy.  
And he already had the perfect plan: he would cook dinner for them.  
He had seen the humans, doing that a lot, just going out and eating together with the person they liked. Jesus wasn’t entirely sure why exactly they enjoyed it so much, but all it needed was him, imagining how it would be to have dinner with Dac, and he was convinced.  
So all he had to do now was cook some food. That can’t be that hard, right?

What could possibly go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe I’ll continue this, maybe not. We’ll see. Only God knows for sure.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I guess I’m continuing this. No promises tho

Alright, the time had come for Jesus to finally prove himself worthy of his father’s love and respect, and all he had to do was cook a great dinner, easy! ...or at least, that's how he had thought it would be. 

Jesus was currently standing in the kitchen, which was entirely covered in something that was supposed to be tomato sauce, but tasted more like dish soap.

Why they had a kitchen in heaven? Because Jesus was needing one right now, obviously! 

Why was it covered in sauce? He had absolutely no idea. 

Why tasted the sauce like dish soap? That was a mystery as well. Jesus was 100% sure that he didn’t put any soap in it. Okay, maybe only 99% sure… or 90… or Anyways! The point was, he screwed up. He screwed up real bad. It was like his time on earth all over again, but this time nobody had enough mercy with him to publicly execute him. No, this time, he had to deal with his own problems and his own embarrassment, there was nobody who would help him with it.  unless.....

  
  


“Hey Anti!” His best, and to be honest only friend, was as usual sitting in one of these very dark halls, God had either abandoned or just forgotten. Jesus could hardly see anything in here, he could barely make out his friend's face, who, judged by his expression, didn’t had any problem to see that Jesus was still covered in this abomination of sauce he tried to make earlier.

“ť **ӓ** Ḣ **Ẉ** **ḏ** Ȇ **Ṅ** _è_ **Ꝓ** ṔȂ **ḫ** **Ӫ** _ṭ_ **Ǖ** ǑẎ” 

“Well, remember when I said that cooking can’t be that complicated?” Yeah, turns out I was wrong. Very, very wrong…” 

“ **Ⱦ** ĀḤ **ẃ** _ǟ_ **Ȇ** ** _ṥ_** _I_ ̇ _ɍꝒ_ Ȑ _ư_ Š” 

“I know, I know. So….” Jesus tried to put on his best puppy eyes, “Would you please help me?”

With a big, exhausted sign Anti stood up. They were both around the same height and still, Anti always seemed to tower above him. He was slowly looking him up and down which was fair, given Jesus looked like a total mess. His hoodie was so soaked, it was more red than green, one of his sleeves was slightly scorched and he was pretty sure that there were some sort of ingredients somewhere stuck in his hair.

Finally, Anti exhaled another sign, followed by a quiet “ **ȩ** ꞐÎƑ”. Jesus was so relieved, that, in total disregard of the sticky mess he was still covered in, he pulled him into a tight hug. Luckily, by now, Anti was already used to this, so he gave in almost entirely without resistance and hugged him back. 

Jesus really had the best friend in the entire existence!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel the need to tell y’all that  
> a) I’m a terrible writer  
> b) I have basically no writing experience  
> and c) English is not my native language
> 
> I hope you enjoy anyway

Alright, attempt #2. Expect this time, Jesus had Anti on his side, so what could go wrong? (...again)  
First things first, they needed to clean up the mess he left behind. ‘The mess’ of course referred to both the kitchen and Jesus himself. And, not to forget, the sauceocalypse. ...saucetastrophe? Whatever it was, it needed to be disposed of. Luckily, Anti (his saviour!) offered to take care of the kitchen while Jesus went to clean up himself.

Once Jesus came back, the kitchen was completely spotless. He had no idea how Anti managed to do that in this short time, but he was very grateful he did.   
Right now, Anti was about to put a pot of water on the stove, probably to cook the spaghetti. “ȨṟéĤť ÜȌŷ ËŔÀ. ǖȫɎ ṊӒĊ ŧṜÃƮṣ ȟṰĭẇ ĜɲȊṰƭʉḈ ēɦŢ ṦěǦąŞüÀȘ ɍòḞ ĚḨȚ ȄĉƯǡṨ.”   
“Alright!” That didn’t sound too terribly difficult. Cutting sausages, easy, he could do that! So Jesus went to work and was already halfway done when suddenly, “anTI!!”, everything turned red. The knife, the sausages, the cutting board, his hand!   
Jesus hated blood. Ever since his time on earth he starts panicking whenever he sees even the smallest drop of it, and it doesn’t help at all when it’s oozing out of his own hand. Completely frozen, he stared at the slowly growing red puddle in front of him, he barely even realized how Anti rushed to his side and took care of his hand.   
Once he snapped out of his shock, he finally noticed Anti next to him, mopping up the blood from the kitchen counter. His finger was now covered by a small blue bandage with tiny clouds on it. He didn’t even knew they had something like that here in heaven. Anti really never ceased to amaze him. Jesus really was the luckiest, to have such an amazing friend. Wait, hadn’t he already said that before? It doesn't matter, Jesus could say it at least a quadrillion more times, that’s how much he loved his friend.

Once that emergency was fully taken care of, (and Anti took away his knife and was now cutting the remaining sausages and vegetables himself) Jesus was assigned a new task: take the ready spaghetti off the stove. He didn’t knew how he managed to mess this up as well, but somehow he spilled some of the boiling water on his arm.   
While he was still busy being glad that he had been crucified instead of burned, because his tiny spot already hurt so much head to fight to not start crying, Anti already yanked his arm under the running tap. The cool water helped a lot and soon the pain was almost completely numb.  
“ŵǑḥ èⱤǍ üȮẎ ƤĒɆǨ ƓṆïǬƉ ƮĀĦƭ?” Anti sounded annoyed and exhausted. “I’m sorry.”, he managed to say, still holding back tears, “I- didn't do it on purpose I just-“   
He hated disappointing the people he loved. He hated it so much. You would think he was used to it by now, after all everything he did was a huge disappointment to his father, but still he hated it. At least Anti tried to calm him down, instead of pointing out his failure even further. “š'ŦĨ éǹįƑ ŧṤɄɉ- ëŚȃĖŁⱣ ţéĺ ṱÁḩƬ Éƀ Ëȟʈ ṭṡǍḽ ēꞪꝕȍŔťȿǺṫȀḈ.”

Eventually, they manage to finish the meal (Well, mostly Anti but Jesus had tried his very best to help him as much as possible). It was no 5-star, gourmet dish, but it did taste pretty good. Jesus was really impressed, who knew Anti did not only knew how to cook, but also how to manage all the problems Jesus had caused? How did he deserve such an amazing friend?

Jesus was convinced, everything that could have gone wrong had gone wrong. That means, now, there was nothing left that could stop this father’s day from becoming the best father’s day ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I made Jesus EXTREMLY clumsy, but I think it's kinda cute so I'm not gonna apologize


End file.
